What I’ve Learned Working for a Church
The importance of saying no.
Working for a church isn’t exactly your typical “when I grow up I want to be…” kind of job. I’ve talked to a lot of people who weren’t even aware that churches had any staff members other than the pastor and maybe the occasional office secretary. To be honest, that was me for a long time too. I had no clue how much churches operated like a business until I was sitting in my first interview.
I’m not a pastor or a secretary. I work as a graphic and creative designer. At a church. Full time. Now there’s a job you really didn’t know existed.
What You’d Expect
There are probably a lot of things you might expect when you imagine working for a church — I know there were for me going into it. Staff meetings entail worship music and an encouraging devotional thought from our pastor, staff members have an active and growing faith, Sundays are a workday, you get the gist.
Being united as a team by our faith is pretty incredible. It brings an instant bond to our staff that’s hard to find in a lot of other workplaces — an immediate sense of connection and community. There’s an openness and a freedom to talk about your faith with your coworkers that isn’t guaranteed in most other work environments. It’s something I truly cherish.
When I imagined what it would be like to work for a church, these were all the things I had to look forward to. And to have a full-time creative job on top of all that, well, doesn’t that sound like the biggest win for any Christian creative person?
At least, that’s what I thought.
What You Might Not Expect
Let me start by saying, I’m not here to bash working for a church, or even to critique my own workplace. I still work there. I’m simply here to share my experience as I’ve learned to navigate it over the last couple of years.
While having your faith be a central part of your work-life is an incredible opportunity that many don’t receive, it presents some unique challenges of its own, and burnout is a very real and prominent thing. I understand that those of us working in ministry don’t have a monopoly on burnout, but we’re certainly no stranger to it. There’s a reason for that.
When you work for a church, there is an understanding that you’re doing it because you love the church. I mean let’s be real, you’re not there for the money. But “church-life” can often be translated to “faith-life” and “faith-life”, well, that’s just kind of life in general, isn’t it? Do you see where I’m going here? Lines. Get. Blurry.
Unblurring the lines.
“No is a complete sentence.”
— Anne Lamott
The longer I work for a church, and the more people I encounter who do, the more I understand just how crucial it is to find a balance. Honestly, this is probably true for so many workplaces, and perhaps I’m late to the party… but I’ve come to believe it more than ever since beginning my job at the church.
Now, I’m an Enneagram 2, wing 3. For those of you who know the Enneagram, that means something to you. For those of you who don’t, let me explain. I love to serve and to be needed. It’s genuinely what drives me. On top of that, I love to accomplish things (like a lot). Put those things together and you have the perfect storm of someone who says yes to everything — likely before the request has even finished being made.
That being said, the last thing I ever wanted to hear was that I would have to say no to people. However, a friend once explained to me that people would be more inclined to respect my “yes” if it wasn’t the only answer I ever gave. The more I said no, the more people would value when I said yes. And slowly but surely I began to understand why that was, and started implementing it.
“Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”
― Brené Brown, Rising Strong
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean that I started shutting down every request that made its way to me overnight. No way. When I say slowly, I mean SLOWLY. I’m still working on it today.
At first, it felt unnatural and rude. I felt as if each time I said no would cause a direct hit to how much people liked me. Maybe you’ve been there. Maybe you’re still there. Just know that it’s not true. It took me forever to wrap my head around the fact that people liked me for more than just my instinct to say yes to anything and everything.
Deciding who and what I say no to isn’t always easy. But I realized that it’s a matter of prioritizing. I get to decide what means the most to me, and what I would be the best person to add value to. The rest can be left in the capable hands of others.
“Essentialism: only once you give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can you make your highest contribution towards the things that really matter.”
― Greg McKeown, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less
What I’m trying to say is…
While I thought saying yes to everything was somehow feeding my soul and furthering my faith, it actually did the opposite. Setting boundaries in my work has given me more freedom in my faith. It removes the potential for resentment and burnout, and it gives me the capacity to invest in my personal faith rather than simply allowing myself to say that the work I do for the church is enough on its own.
I’m still on a journey when it comes to maintaining the balance, but boy, let me tell you, it was a journey worth embarking on.
